My Teacher Loves Her iPod

My teacher loves her iPod.
It’s always in her ear.
She doesn’t mind it if we joke
or chat ’cause she can’t hear

If we don’t pay attention,
she doesn’t seem to care.
Whenever she has music on,
she wears a distant stare.

Our principal dropped by one day,
and she paid no attention.
He took away her iPod,and he sent her to detention.

My Puppy Loves Flowers

My puppy’s in the garden.
He loves to smell the flowers.
To help them grow my puppy always
sprinkles them with showers.

My New Pet

I asked my father for a pet.
He said, “I’ll take you shopping.”
My father took me to a store
where animals were hopping.

He asked me, “Which one do you like?”
So I picked out a puppy,
a parakeet, a rabbit,
plus a gerbil and a guppy.

I also picked a monkey
and a yellow Siamese cat,
a turtle, snake, and lizard,
plus a very big white rat.

My dad said, “If you want a pet,
then you will have to feed it.”
Instead, I picked a storybook.
I cannot wait to read it.

My Doggy Ate My Homework

"My doggy ate my homework.
He chewed it up," I said.
But when I offered my excuse
My teacher shook her head.

I saw this wasn’t going well.
I didn’t want to fail.
Before she had a chance to talk,
I added to the tale:

"Before he ate, he took my work
And tossed it in a pot.
He simmered it with succotash
Till it was piping hot.

"He scrambled up my science notes
With eggs and bacon strips,
Along with sautéed spelling words
And baked potato chips.

"He then took my arithmetic
And had it gently fried.
He broiled both my book reports
With pickles on the side.

"He wore a doggy apron
As he cooked a notebook stew.
He barked when I objected.
There was nothing I could do."

"Did he wear a doggy chef hat?"
My teacher gave a scowl.
"He did," I said. "And taking it
Would only make him growl."

My teacher frowned, but then I said
As quickly as I could,
"He covered it with ketchup,
And he said it tasted good."

"A talking dog who likes to cook?"
My teacher had a fit.
She sent me to the office,
And that is where I sit.

I guess I made a big mistake
In telling her all that.
’Cause I don’t have a doggy.
It was eaten by my cat.

I told my mom I’d go to work

My dog has got no manners.
I think he’s very rude.
He always whines at dinnertime
while we are eating food.

And when he’s feeling thirsty
and wants to take a drink,
he takes it from the toilet
instead of from the sink.

He never wears a pair of pants.
He doesn’t wear a shirt.
But worse, he will not shower
to wash away the dirt.

He’s not polite to strangers.
He bites them on the rear.
And when I’m on the telephone,
he barks so I can’t hear.

When I complained to Mommy,
she said, "I thought you knew:
the reason that his manners stink—
he learns by watching you."

Lucky Trade

I told my mom I’d go to work
if she would go to school.
She thought that trading places once
just might be kind of cool.

So she agreed; I packed her lunch
and made her wash her face.
Then Mother said, "I wonder why
you want to take my place?"

"I wonder what you do at work.
I’d like to meet your boss.
Now hurry up and brush your teeth
and don’t forget to floss.

"There’s just one other thing, Mom,
that I forgot to mention:
I’ll pick you up at four o’clock—
today you have detention."

I'd Rather

I’d rather wash the dishes.
I’d rather kiss a frog.
I’d rather get an F in math
or run a ten-mile jog.

I’d rather do my homework.
I’d rather mow the lawn.
I’d rather take the garbage out.
I’d rather wake at dawn.

I’d rather dine on Brussels sprouts
or catch the chicken pox.
I’d rather do most anything
than clean the litter box.